With Temperature, Hydrometer And Alarm
 

Please keep in contact with me on Twitter ----- also on FaceBook

Please click here for childrenswear, at bargain prices

<Please click here for ladies clothes

Two men are talking:

"I met a fairy yesterday. She told me she could give me longer
"john thomas" or more memory."

"And what did you choose?"



"I can't remember."

Hya peeps!!!!

Time flies when you are having fun! 

Who's having fun on here today? 

"I never wanted to be the cheapest..just the best"..DUNCAN BANNATYNE

Join eBid.net For Free and Buy All My Stuff

Resimay    

To  hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for  the reporter job what I saw in the paper. I  can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a  counting.

I think I am good on the phone  and no I am a pepole person,  Pepole really  seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all  the ladies.

Im lookin for a Jobb as  a reporter but it musent be to  complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to  good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my  persinalety.  My salerery is open so we can  discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think  that I am werth,

I can start imeditely.   Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.  

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so  farr.

Sinseerly,

BRYAN   nikname  Beefy

PS  : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a  pickture of me.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.  
.    
 
 

Employer's  response:.....  

Dear  Beefy-I mean Bryan,

It's  OK honey, we've got spell check. You're  hired.

 

My Items - No Items Listed

Boo... I'm back

Sue x

Who's getting the last round in? Mines a Martini... shaken not stirred

Received this from an old blonde girlfriend from back in HS days.  I think it's silver hair now.

How Blonde Is She???

She was Soooooooo Blonde…

* She thought a quarterback was a refund.
* She thought General Motors were in the army.
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius."

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...

* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
* Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"

She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde…

* She tripped over a cordless phone.
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate."
* She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde …

* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front." 


AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company

"I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off."

“Their 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls against my fence."

"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now it is in three pieces."

"I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his *** wakes me up and it's getting too much."

"The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous."

"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so will you please send someone around to do something about it."

"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night."

"Please send a man with clean tools to finish the job and satisfy the wife."

"I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but still have no satisfaction."

sorry i no your only supposed to post once but this one is funny

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

I'M usless at jokes even when i copy and paste i missed the punch line off

Please take a look at my items

A guy is driving around Yorkshire and he sees a sign in front of a house:  "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden.The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told MI6 about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."  "I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff"

Ken
For Low Cost Prints and Affordable Originals, Click the Logo

Click to see Great Art

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer: To get to the other side.

   That's the best i can do, as i'm useless at jokes, and to be honest it's very rarely that a joke will make me laugh.

Jane 

./seller/STARLADY22">

The fight we had last night was his fault

When I asked him what was on the telly he said DUST!!!!!!

Every entrant was given a number and the winner was selected randomly by using http://www.psychicscience.org/random.aspx

and the winner chosen was

SUNNY SUE

Sue, please PM me your address for delivery of the prize 

Please keep in contact with me on Twitter ----- also on FaceBook

Congratulations Sue.

*giggles at the supercat*

debs

xxxx

Thank you Ush... I promise I won't slap you for a while - not this week anyway (someone's got to keep up the standards with Indy being away)

Cool Prize... I will be boring you all know with constant temp and humidty updates and I will no longer have to squint at the tiny clock on my pooter - Thanks Guys

Sue x

Who's getting the last round in? Mines a Martini... shaken not stirred

artyman:

A guy is driving around Yorkshire and he sees a sign in front of a house:  "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden.The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told MI6 about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."  "I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff"

OY !! joke pincher

Congrats Sue!

Dennis

My Prize arrived in the post this morning - Thank You Ush

And I am happy to report in my study it is a balmy 24 degrees with 60% humidity and the time is 5.12pm

Right... That's me off to do some listing - actually got around to taking some pictures this afternoon, so strike whilst the irons hot... or at least my fingers are buzzing on the keyboard

Sue x

Who's getting the last round in? Mines a Martini... shaken not stirred

sneeks in - notices it's all over and slaps Ush... just coz I can

Congrats Sue  

Handcrafted jewellery and gifts from the Caribbean listings